Learning to be friends with a middle schooler

Towards the beginning of last year (2011), I was ready to quit mentoring. I had started mentoring just a few months before that. Mason, a 7th grader at the time that lived a couple blocks from me in Vine City, asked me to be his mentor. I gave it some thought, received some counsel - it seemed like a good idea, so I accepted. However a few months later it felt like not much had been accomplished and nothing was going to be accomplished any time soon. We didn't really have spiritual conversations or talk about deep challenging things going on with him at school. One day, in my frustration, I asked him if he had any goals in mind for our mentoring relationship. He then said he didn't - which seemed like good final proof that I should let this go and move on to other things.

However, through some of the other people involved in the Trinity mentoring community I was encouraged to hang in there a little bit more, to try to let go of my sense of productivity, and try just be a friend. Maybe that's obvious advice to you - but to me that was a significant shift in perspective. All the times that I had been mentored in the past by older men (which was several times) I was pretty quick to ask questions that were eating at me. 

One of the first activities after that (I think) was going to Piedmont park with him for a festival. Even though it was just the two of us, we didn't really have any big conversations. We did though spend a lot of time though going through an exhibit about Texas and watching funnel cake get made. 

Over the year, we did more activities like this. We went to a museum exhibit of motorcycles, we went to a neighborhood meeting and waffle house. We went for runs and his family would invite me over for BBQ's / special events. We repaired an elderly woman's front yard together and did work on my own car together. Either it was him, me, or both of us - but things changed.  

One evening I was driving him home after one of our more unusual activities together (sitting in on a Sacred Harp singers session). We had just finished making jokes about eating insects or something and he turned to me and said, "Okay, okay - I have something I want to say - this is serious." With some difficulty he tried to hold a straight face. "I really enjoy our times together and am thankful to have you as a mentor." It just pricked my heart - being a boy of few words, usually, he hadn't said anything like that before. I quickly asked him if his mom told him to say that - he said no, he meant it.

Not long ago, he and I were at Trinity's 11:30 service. He expressed to me a desire to do a focused bible study together. Later this week he and I will be sitting down to plan it out. He and I still do fun goofy activities - for sure. But we also are able to talk about spiritual matters and deeper questions too. It just took time. 

As for me - I'm thankful to be Mason's mentor. He is someone roughly half my age, with a life experience and home environment that is very different from the one I have had. However, despite our differences, reflecting the diversity of God's kingdom, we're still able to be friends, have fun, and talk about the things we experience in this world.